I’m the best at what I do and what I do is play video games.

This week I review X-Men Origins: Wolverine which I played on the PS3

If you don't, he's coming through the TV and raping your soul.


Have you ever wanted to be Wolverine? Not pussy Wolverine but Weapon Fuckin’ X? I’m talking Logan with all the closet skeletons that come with? Well buckle up chump stain, because thats what you get X-Men Origins: Wolverine.


Uggg………. Do you remember the movie by the same name? The one that ended with Baraka eye beaming a cooling tower and a moronic representation of Gambit?  Yeah well, movie game = movie story with some extra missions / environments thrown in for good measure.

I hope who ever came up with this idea got chemically castrated.

What I am more interested in is the potential sequel, because the world that the game ends in looks like a fun one to explore, but that will have to wait.


God of Wolverine. Orbs and all.  Not since the Lord of the Rings games for the PS2 have I enjoyed a movie game this much. And before that, Home Alone on the NES.

I have played a fair amount of action games and a few X-Men games, and nothing feels more like a true representation of being Wolvie as this game does. You are Wolverine. Lets check the list to make sure:

  1. Claws? Check
  2. Regeneration? Check
  3. Feral Senses? Check
  4. Berserker mode? Check
  5. Brutal Mother Fucker? Check.

This is a pure melee fighter. No projectiles, no guns. Its all up close and personal and it feels great. You are given a key ability early on called lunge which allows you to jump roughly 20 yards and murder whatever you land on. This will be an important ability to master as it helps you clear gaps and take out pesky gunners looking to pot shot from the sidelines.

And a split second later, Steve got to smell his own lungs.

The melee consists of your standard buttons: Light attack, Heavy attack and Grab with some shoulder button modifiers, dodges and blocks. The system gets some depth with a sizable combo list, quick kills,  finishers, counter attacks, throws and environmental kills. There are are a ton unique, excellent quick kill and environmental kill animations that are fucking roughneck. This is a tiny example of some of the brutal things I was able to do:

  • Made a guy shoot himself in the face with his own shotgun
  • Speared a guy onto a forklift
  • Pulled a pilot from a helicopter and jammed their face into the rotor.
  • Beat someone to death with their own robotic arm I had torn off.

You unlock rage attacks including a “Claw Spin” and the  “Drill Claw” ( Thanks Marvel vs Capcom)  as well as a feral sense ability. The feral senses can be very useful since they can can point out what objects you can interact with / break, help identify enemies and keeps you on path, speaking of path…..

The game / level design itself is pretty linear, with some chances to wander off the path for collectibles, power ups and the player customizable mutagens. You get your standard, push this pull that, retrieve this puzzles and platforming thrown in as well. Some of it borders on pretty clever, but ultimately its just a way to open a door and battle your next platoon of drones.

The hidden mutagens can have several effects, including reducing how much damage you take, increase how much pain you dish out or increase how much XP you get (w00t XP). By the time the game is done, you will have 3 Mutagen slots and about 9 different ones to choose from. Much like in Darksiders, this is a way to tailor your character for a particular encounter, but this isn’t a Molton Core gear check scenario. You will not be required to have any particular set of mutagens in play for any particular fight. Just a nice add. As I hinted earlier, you get XP. This lets you level up, get more health and assign attribute points to improve stats / abilities. Think God of War red orbs.

Oh and you get to fight a full sized Sentinel.

He's a firin his lazor!



Voice clips from most of the actors involved… I think. Basically if that wasn’t Hugh Jackman or Liev Schrieber, then someone does a great impersonation. You do get the occasional boss fight witty quip loop where , after a few minutes of the fight, the sound bytes loop a few to many times. I got to hear Logan react to the Blob’s weight gain ALOT.

Audio logs are well done and Bioshock you into some of the back story. Sound effects are appropriate if not completely memorable. I honestly don’t recall the music so…. that.

Graphically its a mixed bag. Some stuff looks awesome, some stuff is kinda meh, but nothing horrible. Environments look good enough, but are repetitive. You will see a lot of African ruins and secret bases. Lots of variations of a guy with guns or a guy with machetes.

Quick kill animations are great and one of the graphical standouts was seeing the damage modeling on Wolverine. Bullet holes and slashes that will eventually heal and shirts that ultimately get destroyed (yet the pants remain. Sorry ladies.


God of War 3 just came out, so I cannot in good conscious recommend this game over that one. I simply can’t.

That being said, this game was much MUCH better then I had expected it to be. Its not a tough game by any sense of the imagination, but that feels right because your Wolverine, and who is really gonna fuck with him? Plus it completely bucks the movie video game trend of rushed shit to cash in on movie release date.

The game is repetitive, but in a good way. I was almost sad to see it end (after about 10 hours) because:

  1. I wasn’t fully leveled up
  2. I really enjoyed the combat

So if you are a Wolverine fan, a God of War fan waiting for 3 to go on sale (you can pick this guy up in a bargain bin) or a 360 owner (sorry bout the PS3 exclusives) give it a shot. You might be surprised.

The original concept art.

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