This just in.
After hearing about the horrible earthquake that has befallen the South American country of Chile, one plucky penguin has sprung into action.
Thought to have been dead for well over a decade, Chilly Willy of Woody Woodpecker fame has come forward with a new charity to help the people of Chile. The charity is called “Chilly Willy’s Chili for Chile”
“I know I haven’t been around for a while” says Willy ” I got caught up in the glitz and glamour of the cartoon scene and well, things got out of control”
Things got way out of control for the flightless bird. Rumor has it that he and Woody Woodpecker were on a 2 kilo a day habit and getting worse.
“He would just take the beak to a brick and go at it. Then he would jam my face into the powder. The whole time cackling that trademark laugh. ‘Huh Huh Huh Ha Huh! Huh Huh Huh Ha Huh! HaHaHaHaHaHaHa’. But I’ll be damned if I wasn’t caught up in the whole scene”
Eventually he checked himself into rehab after a particularly long weekend in Vegas.
“After we buried that runaway in the desert, well I decided there was only one kind of snow I wanted to see for the rest of my life. So I started to get clean”
And get clean he did. Ever since he has been living a normal life at the San Diego zoo. That was until he heard about the quake.
“I heard about that and thought ‘I’m pretty well positioned to be the spokesmen for this event. It’s time I put my star power to good use’. So I called up my old agent and we got to work on this project. All we are asking is that if you can, please cook up and freeze a delicious batch of your homemade chili and send it to us. We will make sure people get it in Chile.”
At the time of posting this article, all that has been received so far is 1 can or Hormel Chili, 2 cans of corn and 1 size 10.5 men’s Timberland boot. The left one. Used. CW remains hopeful that word will spread and the food will come pouring in.
In another animated foul related charity news, Scrooge McDuck’s “Haggis for Haiti” is still trying to gain footing. When asked for a comment the billionaire had this to say:
“Aye, I’m trying to help earthquack victims too, and I have been doing it much longer then that black and white powder brain. People just don’t respect haggis.”
Upon being asked how much money he has personally donated, he responded that “I shouldn’t have to fork over my hard earned cash on something so frivolous as helping others. I’m trying to send them haggis for Pete’s sake.”
Upon being corrected that it’s earthquake and not “earthquack” he bought the company Merriam Webster and had the dictionary changed. That’ll show us.